9. Thou shalt always yellith "Sooners!" at the end of the National Anthem in place of the word "brave." This is a bit of a hot topic around here. And let me get something straight: No one is going to accuse me of not being patriotic, about not loving this country or any of that stuff. It's not a big deal. It's not disrespectful. Is the United States not home to the Sooners? Do we not count?
8. When faced with any debate about whose school is better, thou shalt always defer to the follow line: "Seven. Seven baby, seven." Then for good measure rattle off, "Four Heisman Trophy winners, 142 All-Americans, 41 conference championships. What's your school got?" Addendum: If you are arguing with a fan of a school of equal stature (Alabama, Notre Dame, USC) either make fun of the way their coach looks (Charlie Weis), how they cheat (USC and Reggie Bush) or refer to their schools only very recent success (Alabama). And if that doesn't work just say, "Oh yeah? Well did your school win 47 straight? No? Ah-HA!"
6. Thou shalt always stand and clap for Boomer Sooner. This is something I learned from my father. He could be sitting in church and the guy next to him is humming it quietly and my dad would stand up and clap. It's like a reflex.
5. Thou shalt be willing to take bullets for the following people: Bob Stoops, Adrian Peterson, Barry Switzer, Brian Bosworth, the Selmon Brothers, Jason White, Joe Washington, Billy Simms, Tommy McDonald, Steve Owens and now Sam Bradford. And Justin Fuente. Just kidding. These are the living Sooners who would be etched in Mount Soonermore.
4. Thou shalt never speak of the years between 1995 and 1999. Those years have been erased in Sooner history.
3. If OU is not given a fair shake or mentioned as one of the best teams in the country, thou shalt promptly complain about a media bias against the Sooners and nonchalantly pass it off on the fact that the media hated King Switzer for some reason and are therefore punishing the current Sooners.
2. When listening to anyone discuss greatest plays, hits, teams or games in college football history, thou shalt always toss the greatest plays, hits, teams and games in Sooner history into the hat. "Oh yeah? Well, Scott Hill's hit on Tony Dorsett should be up there." "What's that? Well I'm pretty sure Keith Jackson's 99-yard end around is one of the best ever." "No, no, no - the 2000 Sooners were everything a great team should be." Addendum: thou shalt argue these things until blue in the face: 1) Josh Heupel, Adrian Peterson and Billy Sims all should have won the Heisman Trophy (Sims as a repeat). 2) The 2003 National Championship game was close. LSU did not blow out or beat down OU. And the fact that the Tigers basically got to play at home was the difference. 3) OU/Texas is the greatest rivalry in the world. Screw Ohio State/Michigan. Until someone has been to the Cotton Bowl the second Saturday in October, they don't know what they're talking about. 4) And just because I didn't have a chance to put it anywhere else, thou shalt always give it up to the Architect, Mr. Bud Wilkinson.
1. Thou shalt always hate Texas. No matter the day, the hour or the second. Texas does, and forever will, suckith.