Thursday, October 2, 2008

This year was supposed to be different

Hey, did you guys know Frank TV is back for another season? Yeah! Me neither. Oh, what? You saw the 52 spots per game on TBS during the NLDS?

But the thing is, that wasn't even the close to the hardest thing to watch last night. The Cubs have let everyone down. Again. It hurts. It sucks. It's the worst thing to happen in years. 2003 wasn't even this bad. Wrigley booed for over an hour straight. I just can't go into a 2,000 word column about what needs to change and what needs to happen. There's no need.

So just enjoy some comments from my fellow Cubbie friends as we watched last night's game.

The Psychology of a Cub fan.

8:34, top of the first: "Crowd is much better tonight! Strike 3!!! I've got goosebumps already. Let's get it going Cub bats!!!" Score: 0-0

8:41, bottom two: "WILD PITCH! Man this game just FEELS different. Not saying it means anything, but I'm in a good mood now."

8:51, bottom two: "Crap! Would've liked to have gotten on the board there but that's alright because Z is on fire tonight."

9:01, top two, Dodgers have runners on: "STRIKE THREE! Now let's just get a double play."
9:01:10, top two, runners on: "Can we trade Derrek Lee to the Dodgers real quick then?"
9:03, top two, error by Mark DeRosa: "Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm." 1-0
9:04, top two, error by Derrek Lee: "What. The. Hell."
9:07, top two, three-run double by Russell Martin: "I feel sick. Literally sick," and "Game. Set. Season," and "agahsdhjsdjhdjadjhsdjhadhajdg. ahgsdkjajkdjkad." and "Don't believe. Ever again." and finally "I need a beer." 5-0
9:14, bottom two. Cub fans, as lovable as we are start to pick up that stupid bag of dissapointment called hope again: "They can still chip away if they just get their heads up and their swings right to get some runs. But I just have a hard time believing that we can keep the Dodgers from scoring again with Z going out early for sure and the defense being so effing bad so far" and "Ron Santo can't take this. The sadness in his voice is heartbreaking."
Three Cubs up. Three Cubs sit down. Still 5-0.
9:16, top three: "I hate these guys. Hate 'em."
9:22, middle three: "And they're playing crappy OAR at the stadium. Even the P.A. guy wants them to lose."
9:26, middle three: "This can't be healthy. Like something internally has to be jacked up. I was at the highest of highs after Soriano's single and Zambrano's 1,2,3 first. I was beating my chest. Stomping around. Gritting my teeth. Now I feel sick to my stomach and I feel like I can't keep my eyes open. I think my insides caught fire and burnt up."
9:33, bottom three: "YES! A WALK! Nice work Z, ok Soriano do anything."
9:34, bottom three, two balls no strikes on Soriano: It's sad how bad I am. Whenever a count goes 2-0, I feel like, "Ok, here we go. This is it."Z walks and I'm thinking, "Ok baby. Here we go. Offensive explosion." I just set myself up for catastrophic disappointment one after the other.
9:36, bottom three, Soriano pops out: "Cool, no runs. Seems about right."
Still, 5-0.
9:38: "How did TBS get Donald Trump and George W. Bush to do TV spots for them? That's pretty amazing. And they must have paid a hefty price to have them do four spots every half inning." Seriously TBS. Just advertise anything, something, other than Frank TV every 10 seconds.
9:42-9:49: Zambrano wiggles around ANOTHER error and keeps the Cubs on life support.
9:50-9:56, bottom four: Cubs get a couple runners on, of course get nothing.
9:59, top five, home run Manny Ramirez: "I'm just going to watch college football the rest of the night." 6-0
10:14, bottom five, Fukodome spins out: "Fukodome might as well lay there."
10:31, top six, Zambrano exits to a standing ovation: "Put Howry in or just underhand it?"
10:37, end six, Cubs three up, three down: "All losers. Every single one of 'em. I still love them though. I just want almost all of them to die right now."
10:45, top seven, Dodgers tack on another: "I'm glad I didn't go to the game tonight, I'd wind up on some photo montage of misery. Because I'd be a 23 year old in tears." 7-0
10:49, bottom seven, Cubs score: "Come back? No way. Know why? Cubs." 7-1
10:50, bottom seven, runners still on: "Why are they toying with me like this!? What comes next, a walk to load the bases? Then a pop fly that almost gets out, but just short?"
10:56, bottom seven, Fuk strikes out: "Why is he playing again?"
11:03, top eight: Cubs' fans are pondering if there is a chance to come back in the series. "The clubhouse manager had better be out finding a goat that these 25 guys can sacrifice on the mound after everyone has left the stadium. That's how they're going to win the next three."
11:04, top eight: "And Rich Harden better be effing drinking goat's blood tonight."
Dodgers tack on two more with a little help from the suckier boys in blue.
Cubs go in order, again
11:19, top nine, Dodgers get another with another error by the Cubs: "This is stupid."
11:31, bottom nine, leadoff double by D Lee: "I smell a ninth inning, nine-run rally."
11:35, after a single by A-Ram, DeRosa double in two: "God I hate this team. I know they're going to get eight runs to lose 10-9." 10-3
11:40, Soto lines out, deflating everyone. As if there was actually hope. Geez. I'll admit it. I was playing the scenario out in my head. "Ok, Soto lines one in the gap here driving in DeRo. 10-4. Then Fukodome walks. Then Daryl Ward gets on. Bases loaded. Then Fonzie cranks a granny. 10-8. Then we're at the top of the order with nobody out and just down two. We can do this! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!" Oh yeah, it's 10-3 and Soto just lined out. Why do I do this to myself?
11:41, runners on, full count: Announcer Dick Stockton: "Entire crowd on their feet here." That's because they're going home Dick.
11:48, strike three, Cubs lose. 10-3. Everyone digging for hope is saying things like, "Well the pressure is really on the Dodgers now you know..." or "Those runs in the ninth are sure to carry over some momentum..."
Yeah. Right.
But that's the Cub life. They give you a glimmer of hope, something to lift your spirits by stringing together a few hits there in the ninth. You're feeling better than you thought you would at the start of game three. You think there's some momentum to carry over.
And then they get swept.
And you swear them off forever.
And then you wait for next year.
And when it comes, you get that little feeling again.
And by opening day, you're sitting on your couch with Cubbie blue all over your body feeling like this could be it. "This year just feels different. This team is different."
That's the psychology of a Cub fan. That's the Cub life.


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